hen Adam and I first got married, we knew that we wanted a good marriage. We had visions of ourselves dancing at our grandkids’ weddings and laughing in rocking chairs on our porch when we were 85. While this was a great ideal, it didn’t become a goal until we hit rock bottom and had to make a choice about whether we were going to fight for our marriage or whether we were going to let it wither away. Thankfully, God spoke to both of us, shifted our hearts, and restored our marriage.

Now, we have a different mindset. We see our marriage as our top priority, second only to our relationship with the Lord. This doesn’t mean that we aren’t selfish at times or that we don’t fail, but it does mean that we can keep reassessing to make sure that our calendar and choices reflect that mindset.

Is your marriage your top goal and priority or do you want it to be?

Of course you do! 🙂

So, how do we deliberately build a beautiful marriage?

  1. Since having a good marriage is a goal, measure every decision against the goal
  2. Each decision that you come across in your marriage, ask the question as to whether it will negatively impact your marriage or positively impact your marriage.

  3. Go on marriage retreats
  4. Retreats may seem scary, but we promise, they are really fun! This is a great place to get away and spend quality time together. Retreats can help us to hone in on some areas that might need help and provide a place of rest and relaxation away from the task list at home.

  5. Keep God at the center
  6. Go to church together, pray together, and read God’s word together.

  7. If either of you wants to see a counselor, promise that you will both show up and give all you have
  8. While the Holy Spirit is the ultimate healer, He can use a biblically-based therapist to help guide you and clarify any areas of struggle.

  9. Be intentional about weekly date night
  10. This one is huge. This doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant. This just needs to be time without distractions, where you and your spouse can connect on a heart level.

  11. Learn
  12. Have areas where you struggle? Have areas where you feel tension or a disconnect? Then dive in. Refuse to be passive, letting disconnect grow. Take conscious steps to grow and challenge yourselves.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about getting started. So, today, and every day, take one conscious step in the right direction. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you can make! You can do this!

Ready to go all-in to make your marriage a priority? If so, check out Radiant Marriage Academy, a 16-lesson experience designed to help you set your marriage on a solid biblical foundation.

Which areas do you do well in your marriage? Which ones are a struggle? Share your thoughts in the comments–we’d love to hear from you!

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