If you’ve read my previous blog, you know I tend to analyze things to death, often focusing solely on the flaws. After writing that blog, I saw another important lesson that I missed the first time. Not only do I often see the worst in myself, but I tend to see the worst in my wife far more often than I would like to admit. The same is true in many marriages--the little things grate on you after a while, then you have a choice to make--will you focus on the negative or the positive? I have … [Read more...]
Left-Brained and Still Loved
I’m pretty much the poster-child for the extreme left-brained. I look at the world in such an analytical way. I love to figure out how things work, so I try out theories in my brain to find the point of failure in any given thing. Chalk it up to my days studying engineering. The focus was always on figuring out what would fail first--that critical weakness that, though initially small, would ultimately, given the right circumstances, cause a chain reaction that would bring down the whole … [Read more...]
Trading Our Ability for God’s Security
Stability. Certainty. Familiarity. It’s something we all crave. In the famous words of Dorothy, “There’s no place like home.” These words ring especially true for me. I’m an introvert, so I like having a predictable, quiet space to relax and get my thoughts in order. It’s what fuels me to have my best ideas and work my hardest. Last summer, however, my sense of calm was jilted and we had to begin the journey of moving. Our landlord told us he was selling our house and, after much prayer and … [Read more...]
8 Simple Steps to a Lifelong Marriage
As I was growing up, I was a pretty quiet kid. I didn’t say much, but I was always watching. In our church group, I paid special attention to one family. The husband had a sharp mind for business and was always trying something new. He and his wife led a bible study in their home every week for decades--theirs was the longest running group I was aware of. In addition, he ran a men’s group, and she ran a women’s group. They always seemed to be so in love, and have a great dynamic with their many … [Read more...]
A Marriage Journey
One night a young husband dreamed that he and his wife were walking along a long dirt road. It was the path of their lives as they headed toward heaven. The road wound through a valley surrounded by hills. It was beautiful, quiet, and they rarely saw anyone else for long. It was a great place to talk and find peace. They walk together, side by side, staying on the same road, experiencing the journey at the same time, as one. They’re following a set of footprints made long ago. They know these … [Read more...]
Money Matters: How to Build a Functional Budget as a Team
This is the second part of a two-part series on money. Check out Part 1 here: Money Matters: How to Talk about Money Without an Argument One of the more difficult steps early in marriage is working to combine finances and spending styles. We’re strong advocates of all money being shared in joint accounts. But that brings the task of spending responsibly as a team, and the best way to start that is with a budget. Now many people have a “budget” where they don’t pay much attention to what … [Read more...]
Money Matters: How to Talk about Money Without an Argument
This is the first part of a two-part series on money. Part 2 is available here: Money Matters: How to Build a Functional Budget as a Team One of the biggest topics of conflict in marriage is money. When you combine two lives and two established financial styles that can be vastly different, it’s really no surprise. But how do we work together to overcome the struggle and start to have productive conversations about OUR money? When it comes to handling money, there are two personality … [Read more...]
5 Reasons to Praise Your Spouse
When was the last time you received a kind word? How did it make you feel? Praise is something we all like to receive, even if we’re a bit sheepish about it sometimes. It’s no different in a marriage-- in fact, it’s just as important to praise your spouse whether or not they can hear you. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). When we speak well … [Read more...]
Meeting the Man Behind the Mask
Masks take many forms. From ornately decorated masquerade-style masks to the air-purifying masks that firefighters use to surgical masks, they all have but one purpose: to cause separation between the wearer and their environment. Sometimes it’s to protect the wearer from something harmful (as in the case of the firefighter being protected from smoke), and other times it’s to protect the world from something harmful inside us (as with surgical masks preventing doctors from sharing germs with … [Read more...]
Combating an Autopilot Marriage
It's been said that our bank account and our calendar show where our priorities lie. Does your calendar reflect that your marriage is a priority? So many people go forward in life assuming they have decades to go. It’s easy to get into a “We’ll fix it when we have time” mentality, but this type of thinking can be toxic in marriage. Here are a few steps you can take to be proactive in your marriage: Avoid procrastinating So many times we find ourselves in a difficult season. It’s easy … [Read more...]