This is the second part of a two-part series on money. Check out Part 1 here: Money Matters: How to Talk about Money Without an Argument One of the more difficult steps early in marriage is working to combine finances and spending styles. We’re strong advocates of all money being shared in joint accounts. But that brings the task of spending responsibly as a team, and the best way to start that is with a budget. Now many people have a “budget” where they don’t pay much attention to what … [Read more...]
Money Matters: How to Talk about Money Without an Argument
This is the first part of a two-part series on money. Part 2 is available here: Money Matters: How to Build a Functional Budget as a Team One of the biggest topics of conflict in marriage is money. When you combine two lives and two established financial styles that can be vastly different, it’s really no surprise. But how do we work together to overcome the struggle and start to have productive conversations about OUR money? When it comes to handling money, there are two personality … [Read more...]
5 Reasons to Praise Your Spouse
When was the last time you received a kind word? How did it make you feel? Praise is something we all like to receive, even if we’re a bit sheepish about it sometimes. It’s no different in a marriage-- in fact, it’s just as important to praise your spouse whether or not they can hear you. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). When we speak well … [Read more...]
Meeting the Man Behind the Mask
Masks take many forms. From ornately decorated masquerade-style masks to the air-purifying masks that firefighters use to surgical masks, they all have but one purpose: to cause separation between the wearer and their environment. Sometimes it’s to protect the wearer from something harmful (as in the case of the firefighter being protected from smoke), and other times it’s to protect the world from something harmful inside us (as with surgical masks preventing doctors from sharing germs with … [Read more...]
Combating an Autopilot Marriage
It's been said that our bank account and our calendar show where our priorities lie. Does your calendar reflect that your marriage is a priority? So many people go forward in life assuming they have decades to go. It’s easy to get into a “We’ll fix it when we have time” mentality, but this type of thinking can be toxic in marriage. Here are a few steps you can take to be proactive in your marriage: Avoid procrastinating So many times we find ourselves in a difficult season. It’s easy … [Read more...]
How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage
There are so many stories of infidelity these days. Whether it's someone from Hollywood, a neighbor, or someone at work or church, you’ve probably seen at least one marriage end because of unfaithfulness. But nobody gets up one morning and sets out to destroy their marriage out of the blue. It’s almost always a long process that they themselves may not even be aware of. It can start so subtly, but it can get out of hand quickly. But how does one avoid this subtle and dangerous thing that they … [Read more...]
Finding Rest for Your Soul
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post talking about the gift of rest and enjoying time with family. It’s a great goal, but it’s often easier said than done. I know that all too well. I’ve struggled with my whole life with the idea of resting. I’m not one who finds it easy to sit and do nothing. I started working for a lady down the street when I was probably 12. I had my first summer job at 15, and I worked weekends in high school and around my classes in college. I spent many summers swinging a … [Read more...]
Debt Free: How We Paid Off $33,171 in 447 Days
Debt is a fact of life for so many these days, but it doesn’t need to be. From school and cars, to credit cards, so many of us have accumulated a crushing mountain of money that we owe to others. Much of the debt we have begins before we get married, and we bring that into our new marriages with us. For Jess and I, on the day we got married, that number was just over $43,000, all in student loans. For the next few years, we paid the scheduled payments of about $500 a month and would pay a bit … [Read more...]
The Gift of True Rest
Rest. It’s an important part of life. Without sleep, we stop functioning well. Without mental rest and time to unplug, we can end up struggling with burnout, overload, and anxiety. Thankfully, we have days off in our week, and extra days off as holidays. Jess and I have to remind ourselves to take this time of rest. We have a tendency to fill our schedule and push forward when we know we should slow down. Even with good things. We are constantly in a state of learning that we need time to … [Read more...]
6 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong While Living With Others
The past six months have felt like a whirlwind. Back in June, our landlord decided to sell the house that we’d lived in for four years. We had been extremely blessed to rent a four bedroom house for the cost of a studio in one of the country’s most expensive real estate markets. Sadly, it was time to move on. In those four years, rent has skyrocketed to the point that we can barely afford a one-bedroom apartment, and even that is only with significant cuts to our already-tight monthly … [Read more...]