Abandoned, alone, and afraid. These three words have been the theme of my feelings over the last month or so. We're in this weird stage of life where so much about our current situation feels unsettled and nothing is secure. Our finances, not having a home base, our jobs...there's very little stability (not our marriage, just life in general). For someone who craves stability and control, this has been an interesting season for me. In the midst of all of that though, I've spent this last … [Read more...]
Building Momentum in Your Marriage
"File:Маховик.jpg"by Vitold Muratov is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 Having a great marriage isn’t based on one moment, one action, or one success, but rather a pattern of right actions (and corrected wrong actions) over time. This may seem obvious--doing the right thing is commonly best practice--but the effects are less obvious. It’s the momentum of all of these small actions that keeps a marriage strong through the hard times. In one of my favorite business books, Good to Great, Jim Collins … [Read more...]
9 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband
Husbands, this post is written to wives, but these things hold true for you as well--read on! -Adam L et’s talk about the word respect. As wives, we are called to respect our husbands, but what does this actually mean? In the early months of our marriage, I really struggled with the word “respect”. To be honest, when we were going through all of our struggles, I didn’t feel respect for Adam. I was angry and didn’t think he deserved my respect. Here's the thing though...it didn’t … [Read more...]
The Single Most Powerful Piece of Marriage Advice
B eing passionate about all things in the marriage arena, I've read many books on how to improve your marriage--they have loads of different techniques, tips, and tricks, and so many of them are fantastic and really helpful. But what's at the core of it all? What does it all boil down to? Brass tacks. The net net. The TL;DR. What would it be? If I could only ever give one piece of marriage and/or life advice to everyone and anyone in any and every situation for the rest of my life, it would … [Read more...]
Why “Doing Nothing” Can Actually Help Your Marriage
A few weeks ago, we were exhausted. We had been working a ton, Jess was right in the middle of her school quarter, and life just felt really overwhelming. When I asked Jess what she wanted to do on our day off, we eventually came to the idea of a picnic in a local park. So Jess packed a lunch and we grabbed a blanket and headed off to the park. We sat down and had the first bit of our lunch. Once we had finished, we had the weirdest feeling. The “lunch” checkbox had been checked off in our … [Read more...]
6 Ways a Wife Provides for Her Home
I n Christian marriage, we generally view the husband as the provider. And while this is true, wives provide in a marriage too, just in a different way. Husbands are responsible for setting the spiritual direction and the tone for the home, but wives have a vital role to play as well. Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” It is not good for him to be alone. Wives, we are called to be our husband’s … [Read more...]
5 Marriage Lessons from an Escape Room (!)
A bout a year ago Jess and I went through our first escape room together with a group of friends and family. For those of you that don’t know what an escape room is, it’s a themed room with a sequence of mental puzzles and disguised or hidden solutions. The idea is that you’re trapped in a room and you have to figure out how to escape. One solution often leads to another puzzle. Sometimes there are hidden keys, ciphered combinations, and other tricky things to be solved. Some items are hidden … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfish” Can Help Your Marriage
T here we were, sitting in our bedroom and Jess was sharing with me how she felt that I was distant and a bit on edge with her. She recognized that I was stressed and overwhelmed, and asked me how I was taking care of myself. It was at that moment that I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually thought about what I needed. She looked at me and said, “Remember to take some time for yourself and allow yourself to recharge”. Okay, let’s be honest, many people think that … [Read more...]
The Secret Weapon Behind Unity
B etween the two of us, Adam is a much better apologizer. He’s much quicker to seek resolution than me and deeply desires to resolve conflict. I find that I tend to sit in my pride and justification for why I think I’m right longer than I ever should. The thing is, the longer I make up self-gratifying excuses for why I’m right, the more bitterness and resentment begin to plague my heart. Pride is scary that way. It can embed its claws into any crevice it can find and the longer we allow it … [Read more...]
6 Simple Steps to Keep your Marriage a Priority
W hen Adam and I first got married, we knew that we wanted a good marriage. We had visions of ourselves dancing at our grandkids’ weddings and laughing in rocking chairs on our porch when we were 85. While this was a great ideal, it didn’t become a goal until we hit rock bottom and had to make a choice about whether we were going to fight for our marriage or whether we were going to let it wither away. Thankfully, God spoke to both of us, shifted our hearts, and restored our marriage. Now, … [Read more...]
