There we were in the middle of one of the biggest fights we had had in a long time. Tensions were rising. Hurtful words were said. And I was desperately clutching to my pride. I feel things incredibly deeply... I think more deeply than most people. So when I begin to go down this road, resentment and bitterness set in quickly. And the longer I stay in this space, the longer it takes to step away from my judgemental, self-entitled attitude. In the middle of these times, I feel so justified … [Read more...]
Pillow Talk: God’s Design for Sex
I’ve often heard husbands using bible verses to guilt their wives into sex, saying that their wife isn’t following what the bible says if they don’t submit to them sexually. I’ve also heard of wives using sex (or the lack of) to punish or reward their husbands for being their definition of a good husband. When sex becomes selfish or manipulative, the results are disastrous, turning sex into something trivial and meaningless. But this isn’t God’s design. Sex is incredibly intimate and beautifully … [Read more...]
Embracing a “Mary” Heart in a “Martha” World
I had just sat down with my latte and cracked open a new devotional. I was so excited to start digging in. This devotional was a few hundred pages and would probably take me a while to get through. I was ready to be challenged and learn something new. As I started to read the words, however, I felt discontent. Usually, I feel inspired the more I work through a devotional, but this time all I felt was a lack of peace. Now I've never heard God audibly speak to me, but I could feel His spirit … [Read more...]
Choosing Thankfulness over Frustration
If you’ve read my previous blog, you know I tend to analyze things to death, often focusing solely on the flaws. After writing that blog, I saw another important lesson that I missed the first time. Not only do I often see the worst in myself, but I tend to see the worst in my wife far more often than I would like to admit. The same is true in many marriages--the little things grate on you after a while, then you have a choice to make--will you focus on the negative or the positive? I have … [Read more...]
Confessions of an Insecure Person
I have a confession: I struggle with insecurity. I’m afraid of rejection and it manifests itself in a deep-rooted anxiousness. I have a drive to perform that is out of a doubt that I am valuable. I constantly feel the need to prove myself worthy. I struggle to see my value apart from my work or my ability to “do”. My perfectionism dances with--and is led by--my insecurity, out of fear that someone--anyone--will think less of me. I play the comparison game and measure myself against a perfect … [Read more...]
Left-Brained and Still Loved
I’m pretty much the poster-child for the extreme left-brained. I look at the world in such an analytical way. I love to figure out how things work, so I try out theories in my brain to find the point of failure in any given thing. Chalk it up to my days studying engineering. The focus was always on figuring out what would fail first--that critical weakness that, though initially small, would ultimately, given the right circumstances, cause a chain reaction that would bring down the whole … [Read more...]
Getting out of a Funk in Your Marriage
Have you ever had one of those weeks where things just felt off with you and your spouse? We have. There was about a three week period where we were just missing each other and taking out our stress on one another. I was hormonal and moody and Adam was anxious and stressed. Let me just tell you, that's a terrible combination and a recipe for disaster. There were many arguments that seemed like they were pointless. We’d resolve one conflict and then head right into another one. The times where we … [Read more...]
Trading Our Ability for God’s Security
Stability. Certainty. Familiarity. It’s something we all crave. In the famous words of Dorothy, “There’s no place like home.” These words ring especially true for me. I’m an introvert, so I like having a predictable, quiet space to relax and get my thoughts in order. It’s what fuels me to have my best ideas and work my hardest. Last summer, however, my sense of calm was jilted and we had to begin the journey of moving. Our landlord told us he was selling our house and, after much prayer and … [Read more...]
5 Prayers of Protection for Your Marriage
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” It’s when a husband and wife are both seeking the Lord and submitting themselves to Him, that they can make a great impact for the Kingdom of God. A marriage built on the strong foundation of Christ is a threat to the enemy. While you’re dangerous as a united team, separately, you pose much less of a threat. This is why the enemy will do everything he can to cause … [Read more...]
8 Simple Steps to a Lifelong Marriage
As I was growing up, I was a pretty quiet kid. I didn’t say much, but I was always watching. In our church group, I paid special attention to one family. The husband had a sharp mind for business and was always trying something new. He and his wife led a bible study in their home every week for decades--theirs was the longest running group I was aware of. In addition, he ran a men’s group, and she ran a women’s group. They always seemed to be so in love, and have a great dynamic with their many … [Read more...]
