There are so many stories of infidelity these days. Whether it's someone from Hollywood, a neighbor, or someone at work or church, you’ve probably seen at least one marriage end because of unfaithfulness. But nobody gets up one morning and sets out to destroy their marriage out of the blue. It’s almost always a long process that they themselves may not even be aware of. It can start so subtly, but it can get out of hand quickly. But how does one avoid this subtle and dangerous thing that they … [Read more...]
The Myth of Oneness
A s I was preparing for marriage, there were many people who came to me to tell me that when we got married we would become ‘one’. I was given a ton of advice about what oneness looked like and how wonderful it would be. I remember someone telling me that when you are married, you are like two completely overlapping circles, absolutely one being. I honestly felt a little sick to my stomach at the thought of it. While I wanted to be married, I didn’t want to lose my individuality; the thought of … [Read more...]
Finding Rest for Your Soul
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post talking about the gift of rest and enjoying time with family. It’s a great goal, but it’s often easier said than done. I know that all too well. I’ve struggled with my whole life with the idea of resting. I’m not one who finds it easy to sit and do nothing. I started working for a lady down the street when I was probably 12. I had my first summer job at 15, and I worked weekends in high school and around my classes in college. I spent many summers swinging a … [Read more...]
How to Take Charge of Your Marriage in the Midst of Struggles
There are two types of marriages: Those that have had struggles and those that will. It’s a fact of life. Some struggles are bigger than others, but every couple will experience some level of difficulty. There’s no shame in it, and these seasons of struggle can lead to deeper levels of intimacy and a stronger marriage if they’re handled well. But what does that mean? It’s pretty easy to start, simply refuse to allow yourself to be passive if your marriage isn’t honoring to God. … [Read more...]
Debt Free: How We Paid Off $33,171 in 447 Days
Debt is a fact of life for so many these days, but it doesn’t need to be. From school and cars, to credit cards, so many of us have accumulated a crushing mountain of money that we owe to others. Much of the debt we have begins before we get married, and we bring that into our new marriages with us. For Jess and I, on the day we got married, that number was just over $43,000, all in student loans. For the next few years, we paid the scheduled payments of about $500 a month and would pay a bit … [Read more...]
Defining Your Best New Year
If you could choose one word to describe your past year what would it be? For us, it would be the word faith. The past year has been filled with chaotic purpose and deliberate decisions. If you would have asked us in our first year of marriage if we would be doing what we are doing now, we would have thought you were crazy. A Voicemail and an Email It really started when Adam had applied for a job this past summer that we were pretty certain he was going to get. He was well-qualified, made … [Read more...]
The Gift of True Rest
Rest. It’s an important part of life. Without sleep, we stop functioning well. Without mental rest and time to unplug, we can end up struggling with burnout, overload, and anxiety. Thankfully, we have days off in our week, and extra days off as holidays. Jess and I have to remind ourselves to take this time of rest. We have a tendency to fill our schedule and push forward when we know we should slow down. Even with good things. We are constantly in a state of learning that we need time to … [Read more...]
6 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong While Living With Others
The past six months have felt like a whirlwind. Back in June, our landlord decided to sell the house that we’d lived in for four years. We had been extremely blessed to rent a four bedroom house for the cost of a studio in one of the country’s most expensive real estate markets. Sadly, it was time to move on. In those four years, rent has skyrocketed to the point that we can barely afford a one-bedroom apartment, and even that is only with significant cuts to our already-tight monthly … [Read more...]
6 Tips for Handling the Holidays Like a Boss
Are you stressed about the idea of planning holidays with your family, your spouse’s family, and also wanting to have your own traditions? Family expectations can lead to quite a bit of frustration. Honestly, I never really understood how holidays could be stressful or difficult until I got married. With the words “I do”, I suddenly had more than myself or my family to think about. I now had to think about my husband’s family, and also the fact that Adam and I were now our own little family, and … [Read more...]
Building a Strong Little House
In amateur theater (based on my very limited middle-school acting experience), the sets are designed to look good from the audience. Nobody will ever be close enough to them that the paint needs to be perfect. Sometimes, props were held together with duct tape on the back, and the front looked great from the audience. The construction was designed to last for about a week longer than the run of the show. Every shortcut was taken that could be. It was all a facade, but it was enough to fulfill … [Read more...]