have a confession: I struggle with insecurity. I’m afraid of rejection and it manifests itself in a deep-rooted anxiousness. I have a drive to perform that is out of a doubt that I am valuable. I constantly feel the need to prove myself worthy. I struggle to see my value apart from my work or my ability to “do”. My perfectionism dances with–and is led by–my insecurity, out of fear that someone–anyone–will think less of me. I play the comparison game and measure myself against a perfect standard that I have created in my mind, rather than clinging to God’s truth.
There have been many sleepless nights, spent over-analyzing various situations where I was wrong or how I said something ridiculous. I fret over what others think of me. I am highly critical of myself, always searching for what else I need to learn or how I can self-improve. Sometimes my brain just goes round and round in circles and other times I can feel my body physically agitated from the stress. It’s exhausting.
Does any of this sound or feel familiar?
Over the past few months, God has really been speaking to my heart about sitting in His presence, putting aside my need to perform out of guilt, and embracing Him as my true source of hope, value, and provision. I continuously have to wrestle with my insecurity, constantly give it to Him and ask Him to help me.
It’s in these dark times of anxiousness that I have to remember and drape myself with His truth, not the filtered lies that I so often believe.
These icky thoughts don’t come from God, they come from the enemy.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8
We need to stay strong and be aware of where the enemy is using our insecurities against us. The enemy wants us to linger in our insecurity. He will do anything he can to make us feel like we aren’t valuable and that we have nothing to offer. This makes us ineffective and stagnant, and this mindset keeps us from having confidence in Jesus because we’re so focused on where we can’t measure up, that we forget to focus on His solidity.
We need to have confidence in who God is
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” – Romans 8:31-32
We aren’t perfect and we never will be, but we need to have confidence in the One who is. He is with us at ALL times. Where He leads and where He asks us to follow, He will equip us. He gives us security in our purpose because of who He is, not because of who we are.
God loves us exactly as we are
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-14
We are fearfully and wonderfully made. He has made us in His image (Genesis 1:27). He loves us more than we could possibly know and He cares about us deeply. There is nothing that we could do to make Him love us any more or any less than He does at this very moment. This is love in its purest form. Knowing that there is nothing that we can actively do to earn God’s favor, we can sit in His presence, soaking in His grace and peace.
God provides healing
“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” – Psalm 55:22
We were never meant to carry the burdens of this life on our own. He wants to help us. This requires us to be vulnerable and honest about our fears. When we bring Him our insecurities and talk candidly with Him about them, He will provide the ultimate healing. This doesn’t mean that those feelings will automatically disappear, but it does mean that He will walk the road with us we learn to put all of our dependence on Him. He is strong enough to carry our load, we just have to trust Him with it (Matthew 11:28-30).
God created us to live with purpose
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10
With God as our foundation, we can move forward in confidence, pursuing His purpose. We can’t let the fear of failure or our insecurities dictate our decisions. If we do, it shows a sincere lack of trust in who God is and what He has called us to do. Honestly, what it comes down to is this: It isn’t about us, it’s about Him. He calls us to be bold and to reply in obedience to His calling. This isn’t an arrogant boldness, but one that is gentle and humbly confident in who He is, not in who we are.
It’s time to cast away our fears, anxiety, and insecurities. It’s time to hold tightly to His truth and respond in confident obedience. Are you ready?
Part of having a strong marriage is working on ourselves as individuals. To learn more about taking self-responsibility and becoming the best husband or wife you can be, check out our 12-month course, coming soon!
Do you struggle with insecurity? How do you handle it? Leave a comment below and let us know–we’d love to hear from you!