Left-Brained and Still Loved

by |

I

’m pretty much the poster-child for the extreme left-brained. I look at the world in such an analytical way. I love to figure out how things work, so I try out theories in my brain to find the point of failure in any given thing. Chalk it up to my days studying engineering. The focus was always on figuring out what would fail first–that critical weakness that, though initially small, would ultimately, given the right circumstances, cause a chain reaction that would bring down the whole building. In short, I see flaws. I spend time analyzing the flaws in something I’m building. It’s as if my brain is able to shine a spotlight on them. I analyze them, trying to figure out how to correct them. Once I’ve satisfactorily fixed one, I re-analyze and find the next failure point. And on and on. So everything I build is over-engineered to at least double (but usually significantly more) than the most demanding circumstance it will ever have a chance of encountering. It makes for solid furniture, sturdy structures, and essentially future-proof electrical and plumbing.

So far this probably sounds like a good thing, right? Who doesn’t want over-engineering, bulletproof reliability, and future proof things?

The downside comes when I apply these same analyses to myself. I’m never good enough for myself. By default, I hunt down personality flaws, work on the ones I can, and dwell on the rest, trying to figure out how to mitigate them. But that, in itself, though it’s a bit unhealthy, isn’t the worst of it. The worst part is that, because I struggle to see myself as good enough, I believe that God sees me the same way. How could the all-knowing, all-powerful, omnipresent God of All, who is infinitely able to know me, my intentions, my heart, (and yes, EVERY. SINGLE. FLAW.) see me as good enough? How could I ever measure up? How could He possibly not be disappointed in me? How could He not see me as a failure? These are questions I’ve struggled with for a long time.

Do you struggle with these same thoughts? Do you struggle to believe that God loves you just as you are, flaws and all? It is so easy to constantly question the unconditional, rock solid love of God. But to question this means that we don’t fully believe His truth and His word.

Over the past few years, I’ve spent time studying who God says we are.

Here’s what I’ve found:

  1. We are His–we’re children of God
  2. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1)

    God calls us His children. Not slaves, not even servants, but children. That is the highest honor He could offer us in His family.

  3. We are Free–He paid our ransom for us
  4. “For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.” (Hebrews 9:15)

    We’re no longer slaves to sin, fear, or death. Christ paid that price for us on the cross, and by accepting Him as our Lord and Savior, we are FREE

  5. We are chosen
  6. “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” (Ephesians 1:4)

    He didn’t just stumble onto us. We’re not an accident. We’re not leftovers from a greater project. He chose each and every one of us before the creation of the world.

  7. We are loved
  8. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

    Could a greater love be given? Most parents would gladly sacrifice themselves to save their children. The amount of love for all of humanity the Father would have to have to sacrifice His only Son is incomprehensible. He loves us that much.

  9. We are fearfully and wonderfully made
  10. “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” (Psalm 139:13-15)

    We are made for Him and by Him. Every cell has His signature. We are His masterpiece.

  11. He is for us and rejoices over us
  12. “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

    God Delights in us. He rejoices over us with singing. What happier celebration could there be? If God sings with joy because He’s so happy with us, how can we be down on ourselves?

  13. We are part of His plan
  14. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” (Jeremiah 29:11)

    He has plans for us. You and I are part of His plan. That’s HUGE. He wants us to prosper and have hope and a future. Not fail, be hopeless and die.

  15. God will never leave us
  16. “The LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6b)

    He will NEVER leave us. No matter what we do. In our greatest moments and our lowest lows, He is with us. He loves us, and he will never write us off or deny us. God is, by very nature, love.


    “The LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
    – Deuteronomy 31:6b

    Share Tweet


  17. God’s love for us is never-ending
  18. “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1)

    Not only will He never leave us, but He will love us forever. In this life and the next.

  19. Nothing can separate us from God’s love (not even ourselves)
  20. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

    No matter what we do, He loves us. Regardless of our success or failure, our looks, our wealth, or our intelligence. We can’t perform well enough to get any more love or poorly enough to get any less. We simply have all of it.

  21. He created us in His image
  22. “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

    He created us to crave relationship with Him. To want to love. To want Him. If God is perfect, and He created us to be like Him, to criticize ourselves is to criticize His masterpiece and His nature. That’s not what He wants for us.

Now, knowing all of this, and believing it to be true, I still struggle believing that I’m good enough for God’s love. It’s a daily correction of my mind, and I suspect that it will be for quite some time. But I’m learning, and I keep trying to apply His truths and believe them in new ways. If we can view God this way, I’m sure that it would relieve a lot of the pressure for us to be perfect or put on an image of perfection. God doesn’t love us in spite of our flaws. He loves us with our flaws. He knows that we are sinful. He knows that we are broken. He loves us FULLY and COMPLETELY.

If we don’t fully embrace God’s love, this can impact how we relate and respond to our spouse’s love. To learn more about how to work on our own perspectives–and how to relate well with our spouse–join us in Radiant Marriage Academy, a 16-lesson experience designed to help you set your marriage on a solid biblical foundation.

How would embracing these truths help you to live your life differently and more confidently? Leave us a comment with your thoughts–we’d love to hear from you!

Want to dig deeper?

Check out Radiant Marriage Academy, our free 16-lesson course!

Tiptoes

(Fully free. No catch.)

adam & Jess

Hi, we’re Adam & Jess--we’re so glad you’re here!

Our marriage got off to a rocky start in 2014 and quickly escalated into a full-out crisis. God healed us, and now we're inviting you to walk with us as we all journey toward healthier marriages together!

7 Days to an Awesome Marriage

Check out our free eBook and connect with your spouse!


7 Days to a More Intimate Marriage

Follow Us

Treasuring the Tiny Moments

The goal for the day was simple...Get food for dinner and prepare a delicious meal for our friends who were coming over (while still social distancing). I had gone to the store and had everything that I needed...except for the fish. I was planning on making fish with...

Choosing Your Spouse Over Your Checklist

We published an image of a quote on our social media not too long ago, and it struck me in just how profound it is. The quote, by D.L. Moody, is this: “If I wanted to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to his minister. I would go and ask his...

How to Love Your Spouse Through Their Rough Day

There I was in my car in the garage processing through the events of my day. You know those days where everything just seems to go wrong? This was that day. From dropping a smoothie onto the floor in the morning to having a rough interaction with a friend to work...

7 Game-Changer Questions to Fight Disconnection in Your Marriage

Have you ever gotten to a place in your marriage where you felt completely disconnected from your spouse...and didn't have a clue how you got there? In these times, it can be so easy to ignore the problem and become apathetic. In the moment, ignoring things seems like...

10 At-Home Activities to Do as a Couple

Let’s be honest. The past few weeks have been a bit insane. Have you been going a bit stir crazy? Have you craved being with your friends or family? Do you miss hugs? Are you finding yourself losing track of days and time? Us too. In the midst of being under “shelter...

4 Ways to Take Charge of Anxiety

Army. Green. Couch. Can you picture it? Now hold onto that image and I’ll come back to it. If you have read my posts for any length of time, you know that I struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized how much I can fixate on things…...

Faith in the Midst of Uncertainty

I t was dinner time when we found out that Washington had issued a “shelter in place” mandate. While we live in Idaho, Adam works in Washington. And Washington was the first of the two to issue the mandate. Like many of you who have these state rules right now, we...

7 Ways to Grow Your Marriage During COVID

This last week has been insane. I feel like I woke up on Friday last week and the world had started to end. Grocery stores were being emptied, in-person church services had been canceled, schools were closed, and my graduate program was put on hold...and I couldn’t...

Abandoned, Alone, and Afraid

Abandoned, alone, and afraid. These three words have been the theme of my feelings over the last month or so. We're in this weird stage of life where so much about our current situation feels unsettled and nothing is secure. Our finances, not having a home base, our...

Building Momentum in Your Marriage

Having a great marriage isn’t based on one moment, one action, or one success, but rather a pattern of right actions (and corrected wrong actions) over time. This may seem obvious--doing the right thing is commonly best practice--but the effects are less obvious. It’s...

Want to build an awesome marriage?

Get started with Radiant Marriage Academy, a 16-lesson online course to help you build an awesome marriage.

The best part? Thanks to our patrons, it's completely FREE. No credit card. No upsell. No catch. Just great, free marriage tools to help you make your marriage awesome.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest