Marriage: Our Greatest Mission

by |


hen I think about the couples that have been most meaningful in my life, three or four come to mind. These couples have encouraged me to grow deeper in my relationship with the Lord and they’ve been a huge support for me as a wife. There were times when they directly spoke into my life, but I have been more impacted by the way that they live their lives and how their marriages and their love for each other reflect God’s love. When I think of them, I think of how they deeply care for one another. I think of how they submit to each other out of a pure desire to serve the other. I’m inspired by a wife that was devoted to her husband when he was struggling with depression. I want to be more giving to Adam when I hear about a husband who brings his wife coffee in bed every morning. I am in awe of the couple that worked through a financial crisis and came out strong, rather than defeated. In action, they are showing what it means to submit to each other and are actively pursuing love.

From all of this, perhaps the biggest lesson I have learned is that our marriages are the greatest and most important testimony that we can show the world about the character and love of Jesus Christ.

“Our marriages are the greatest and most important testimony that we can show the world about the character and love of Jesus Christ.”

Share Tweet

How we relate to our spouse is a direct reflection of our relationship with Jesus. There are so many couples who talk about how they love Jesus and are involved in many church activities (missions, Bible studies, leading youth group, etc.), but how they act in their marriage discredits their testimony. Why would someone want to know about a relationship with Jesus if our marriage, the most important relationship in our lives, were an example of selfishness, passivity, and discontent?

It takes an active effort to keep our marriages thriving and showing Christ’s love. To keep Jesus and love at the center of our motivations, here are six things we can do on a daily basis:

  1. Pray for strength, wisdom, and a gentle spirit.
  2. Ask God to help you to love your spouse and to put their needs first. We can’t do this on our own. We need His help to truly love our spouse the way Jesus loves them.

  3. Spend time in God’s word.
  4. Make an effort to learn how to be more like Jesus. The more we become like Jesus, the better we will be able to love our spouse.

  5. Seek ways to serve your spouse.
  6. Set any selfishness aside and focus on how you can show them love. Whether they deserve it or not–because, really, do we ever DESERVE love?

  7. Keep the right focus.
  8. Instead of focusing on feelings, which are misleading and fleeting, focus on God’s truth. Some days showing love will be easy and other days it will be more difficult. We have to choose to fight for our marriage, rather than for ourselves.

  9. Call out what’s good.
  10. Find the things you love about your spouse and make a point to tell them. An encouraging word has the power to uplift your spouse and break down resentment and anger.

  11. Praise your spouse to others.
  12. Our words have incredible power. When we praise our spouse to others, they’ll see the admiration and love that we have for each other.

All throughout the Bible, God talks about how our actions are stronger than our words. In 1 John 3:23, John writes about how we are to love one another. He talks in detail about how we are to love in action. Jesus, the Savior and King of the world, put this love into action when He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). Jesus not only used words to tell us what to do, but He showed us by actively participating. As believers, we sometimes forget our greatest mission is to love our spouse in this sacrificial, spectacular way. Love is a verb, not a noun. As Bob Goff says, “Simply put, love does”.

“Love is a verb, not a noun.”

Share Tweet

The stronger our marriages are (and the more loving we are to our spouses) the more powerful an example we can be of Jesus’ love. THAT love is what will draw people in. THAT love is what will make people curious about Jesus. It’s a beautiful thing,

Through God’s grace, I hope that someday our marriage will have the same impact on someone that these other couples’ marriages have had on my life. The idea that our marriage is a reflection of God’s love makes me absolutely positive that I want it to be the best that it can be, and it encourages me when things aren’t so easy.

What about you? What couples in your life have inspired or shaped your marriage? Share with us in the comments below…

Want to dig deeper?

Check out Radiant Marriage Academy, our free 16-lesson course!


(Fully free. No catch.)

adam & Jess

Hi, we’re Adam & Jess--we’re so glad you’re here!

Our marriage got off to a rocky start in 2014 and quickly escalated into a full-out crisis. God healed us, and now we're inviting you to walk with us as we all journey toward healthier marriages together!

7 Days to an Awesome Marriage

Check out our free eBook and connect with your spouse!

7 Days to a More Intimate Marriage

Follow Us

Treasuring the Tiny Moments

The goal for the day was simple...Get food for dinner and prepare a delicious meal for our friends who were coming over (while still social distancing). I had gone to the store and had everything that I needed...except for the fish. I was planning on making fish with...

Choosing Your Spouse Over Your Checklist

We published an image of a quote on our social media not too long ago, and it struck me in just how profound it is. The quote, by D.L. Moody, is this: “If I wanted to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to his minister. I would go and ask his...

How to Love Your Spouse Through Their Rough Day

There I was in my car in the garage processing through the events of my day. You know those days where everything just seems to go wrong? This was that day. From dropping a smoothie onto the floor in the morning to having a rough interaction with a friend to work...

7 Game-Changer Questions to Fight Disconnection in Your Marriage

Have you ever gotten to a place in your marriage where you felt completely disconnected from your spouse...and didn't have a clue how you got there? In these times, it can be so easy to ignore the problem and become apathetic. In the moment, ignoring things seems like...

10 At-Home Activities to Do as a Couple

Let’s be honest. The past few weeks have been a bit insane. Have you been going a bit stir crazy? Have you craved being with your friends or family? Do you miss hugs? Are you finding yourself losing track of days and time? Us too. In the midst of being under “shelter...

4 Ways to Take Charge of Anxiety

Army. Green. Couch. Can you picture it? Now hold onto that image and I’ll come back to it. If you have read my posts for any length of time, you know that I struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized how much I can fixate on things…...

Faith in the Midst of Uncertainty

I t was dinner time when we found out that Washington had issued a “shelter in place” mandate. While we live in Idaho, Adam works in Washington. And Washington was the first of the two to issue the mandate. Like many of you who have these state rules right now, we...

7 Ways to Grow Your Marriage During COVID

This last week has been insane. I feel like I woke up on Friday last week and the world had started to end. Grocery stores were being emptied, in-person church services had been canceled, schools were closed, and my graduate program was put on hold...and I couldn’t...

Abandoned, Alone, and Afraid

Abandoned, alone, and afraid. These three words have been the theme of my feelings over the last month or so. We're in this weird stage of life where so much about our current situation feels unsettled and nothing is secure. Our finances, not having a home base, our...

Building Momentum in Your Marriage

Having a great marriage isn’t based on one moment, one action, or one success, but rather a pattern of right actions (and corrected wrong actions) over time. This may seem obvious--doing the right thing is commonly best practice--but the effects are less obvious. It’s...

Want to build an awesome marriage?

Get started with Radiant Marriage Academy, a 16-lesson online course to help you build an awesome marriage.

The best part? Thanks to our patrons, it's completely FREE. No credit card. No upsell. No catch. Just great, free marriage tools to help you make your marriage awesome.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest