When was the last time you received a kind word? How did it make you feel? Praise is something we all like to receive, even if we’re a bit sheepish about it sometimes. It’s no different in a marriage-- in fact, it’s just as important to praise your spouse whether or not they can hear you. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). When we speak well … [Read more...]
Hold the Phone: How to Keep Technology from Taking Over Your Marriage
Family movie night. We usually have a movie night once a week, but this week something struck me. We were sitting in front of the tv watching the film, but our faces were buried in our phone or tablet while the movie was playing. Breakfast table. We sit down to eat breakfast and both have our phones sitting on the table. When the conversation has a lull or we feel bored, we can just pull up the screen on our phone to fill the silence as we munch on a piece of toast. Do either of these … [Read more...]
Offering Grace to an Undeserving Spouse
There I was, sitting on our bed, having just torn into Adam to a degree that I am now thoroughly embarrassed by. I completely lost it. The two of us sat there as I gave a proud and half-hearted apology. This was not an apology worth accepting. I completely deserved for Adam to lash into me. I completely deserved for him to push me away. Instead, he calmly listened to me and accepted that ridiculous half-hearted apology. He then took me in his arms and hugged me and told me he loved me. I … [Read more...]
Combating an Autopilot Marriage
It's been said that our bank account and our calendar show where our priorities lie. Does your calendar reflect that your marriage is a priority? So many people go forward in life assuming they have decades to go. It’s easy to get into a “We’ll fix it when we have time” mentality, but this type of thinking can be toxic in marriage. Here are a few steps you can take to be proactive in your marriage: Avoid procrastinating So many times we find ourselves in a difficult season. It’s easy … [Read more...]
How to Fight Well With Your Spouse
What if I were to tell you that arguing with your spouse is a good thing? Would you think I was crazy? I’m sure a lot of you would say, “YES!” Believe it or not, arguments, when handled well, can actually enrich relationships. Working through disagreements in a respectful way fights for your marriage rather than your own personal gain. Fighting with honor and respect builds trust. Conflict in marriage is inevitable. We are different human beings with different thought processes and … [Read more...]
How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage
There are so many stories of infidelity these days. Whether it's someone from Hollywood, a neighbor, or someone at work or church, you’ve probably seen at least one marriage end because of unfaithfulness. But nobody gets up one morning and sets out to destroy their marriage out of the blue. It’s almost always a long process that they themselves may not even be aware of. It can start so subtly, but it can get out of hand quickly. But how does one avoid this subtle and dangerous thing that they … [Read more...]
The Myth of Oneness
A s I was preparing for marriage, there were many people who came to me to tell me that when we got married we would become ‘one’. I was given a ton of advice about what oneness looked like and how wonderful it would be. I remember someone telling me that when you are married, you are like two completely overlapping circles, absolutely one being. I honestly felt a little sick to my stomach at the thought of it. While I wanted to be married, I didn’t want to lose my individuality; the thought of … [Read more...]
How to Take Charge of Your Marriage in the Midst of Struggles
There are two types of marriages: Those that have had struggles and those that will. It’s a fact of life. Some struggles are bigger than others, but every couple will experience some level of difficulty. There’s no shame in it, and these seasons of struggle can lead to deeper levels of intimacy and a stronger marriage if they’re handled well. But what does that mean? It’s pretty easy to start, simply refuse to allow yourself to be passive if your marriage isn’t honoring to God. … [Read more...]
Building a Strong Little House
In amateur theater (based on my very limited middle-school acting experience), the sets are designed to look good from the audience. Nobody will ever be close enough to them that the paint needs to be perfect. Sometimes, props were held together with duct tape on the back, and the front looked great from the audience. The construction was designed to last for about a week longer than the run of the show. Every shortcut was taken that could be. It was all a facade, but it was enough to fulfill … [Read more...]
Taking a Stand Against Abuse in Your Marriage
Just 5 months into our marriage, I had to take a stand. I ended up leaving my husband the day before our first Thanksgiving as a married couple. When I look back on that day that I left, I am beyond thankful for so many things. God orchestrated all of the events and timing in the best way possible. My parents were in town and were there to help me, there was a pastor at our church who had just enough time to talk before he had to get on a flight to his family Thanksgiving. I had a week off from … [Read more...]