Army. Green. Couch. Can you picture it? Now hold onto that image and I’ll come back to it. If you have read my posts for any length of time, you know that I struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized how much I can fixate on things… sometimes really silly things. When we made the decision to leave the Bay Area, we gave away most of our furniture. We knew we would be staying with my parents and we had absolutely no place to store the furniture that we had … [Read more...]
Abandoned, Alone, and Afraid
Abandoned, alone, and afraid. These three words have been the theme of my feelings over the last month or so. We're in this weird stage of life where so much about our current situation feels unsettled and nothing is secure. Our finances, not having a home base, our jobs...there's very little stability (not our marriage, just life in general). For someone who craves stability and control, this has been an interesting season for me. In the midst of all of that though, I've spent this last … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfish” Can Help Your Marriage
T here we were, sitting in our bedroom and Jess was sharing with me how she felt that I was distant and a bit on edge with her. She recognized that I was stressed and overwhelmed, and asked me how I was taking care of myself. It was at that moment that I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually thought about what I needed. She looked at me and said, “Remember to take some time for yourself and allow yourself to recharge”. Okay, let’s be honest, many people think that … [Read more...]
The Real Definition of a Provider
A man naturally feels a strong desire to provide for his family. This is a God-given desire. However, as a culture, we have defined “provision” as purely financial. While it’s good to provide financially, God calls husbands to a much higher standard. The call for a husband to provide goes far beyond financial security to his full investment and involvement. But what does that look like? In short, a Husband should provide: A safe, loving place for his family A safe place can mean … [Read more...]
#13: Making Disruptive Decisions (Tim Lundy)
Have you and your spouse ever made a decision that took you out of your comfort zone? Have you ever made a decision because you were following God’s leading? In today’s episode, we talk with Tim Lundy, senior pastor of Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, CA. He gets real about the disruptions that God has made in his life, the ones God may make in our lives and how to handle them as a united team in our marriages. It’s so important that we embrace God’s calling and don’t allow fear or … [Read more...]
To Submit or Not to Submit?
Submission is probably one of the most controversial words in the English language. At least in marriage conversations. This word has caused division between married couples-- husbands abusing the word and, using it as an excuse to react with control, pride, and aggression, while women either reject the word, trying to force respect or misunderstand the word, embracing the fallacy that they aren’t worthy of respect. As a culture, we’ve taken a beautiful concept and tainted it with our … [Read more...]
A Wife’s Greatest Protector
What does it mean for a husband to be responsible for his wife? Does it mean that it’s his sole responsibility to protect her at every moment of every day from the moment of his wedding vows forward? Does it mean that he needs to go everywhere with her to make sure she’s safe? Or is it something different entirely? I’m a recovering worrier. I’ve always had a tendency to worry about things. If I walk into a situation, I want to have a plan. I prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If I … [Read more...]
Learning to Be Broken Together
A favorite song of mine is "Broken Together” by Casting Crowns. This will always be a special song for Adam and me. I heard this song for the first time sitting at my parents’ dining room table the day after I had left Adam. This was the first time I had actually sat down to process the events of the previous 48 hours … [Read more...]
