We published an image of a quote on our social media not too long ago, and it struck me in just how profound it is. The quote, by D.L. Moody, is this: “If I wanted to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to his minister. I would go and ask his wife...if a man doesn’t treat his wife right, I don’t want to hear him talk about Christianity.” I started to analyze myself through this lens...if I were to ask Jess how I was doing, what would she say? Where am I doing well? Where … [Read more...]
How to Love Your Spouse Through Their Rough Day
There I was in my car in the garage processing through the events of my day. You know those days where everything just seems to go wrong? This was that day. From dropping a smoothie onto the floor in the morning to having a rough interaction with a friend to work being rather difficult. The day just felt like it would never end. I remember feeling completely beaten down and frustrated. I was overwhelmed and depleted. But what do I remember most about that day? I remember Adam … [Read more...]
7 Game-Changer Questions to Fight Disconnection in Your Marriage
Have you ever gotten to a place in your marriage where you felt completely disconnected from your spouse...and didn't have a clue how you got there? In these times, it can be so easy to ignore the problem and become apathetic. In the moment, ignoring things seems like the better, easier option. However, this will only cause more distance between you and your spouse and more disconnection. The idea that we need to be pursuing our spouse and our marriage is not a new idea. As Ryan Frederick … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Take Charge of Anxiety
Army. Green. Couch. Can you picture it? Now hold onto that image and I’ll come back to it. If you have read my posts for any length of time, you know that I struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized how much I can fixate on things… sometimes really silly things. When we made the decision to leave the Bay Area, we gave away most of our furniture. We knew we would be staying with my parents and we had absolutely no place to store the furniture that we had … [Read more...]
7 Ways to Grow Your Marriage During COVID
This last week has been insane. I feel like I woke up on Friday last week and the world had started to end. Grocery stores were being emptied, in-person church services had been canceled, schools were closed, and my graduate program was put on hold...and I couldn’t find a single darn roll of toilet paper. The feeling was surreal. I almost feel as if I’ve been placed inside a movie or TV show. I’m waiting for someone to come up to me and say “Just kidding! You’ve been pranked!” Adam and … [Read more...]
Abandoned, Alone, and Afraid
Abandoned, alone, and afraid. These three words have been the theme of my feelings over the last month or so. We're in this weird stage of life where so much about our current situation feels unsettled and nothing is secure. Our finances, not having a home base, our jobs...there's very little stability (not our marriage, just life in general). For someone who craves stability and control, this has been an interesting season for me. In the midst of all of that though, I've spent this last … [Read more...]
Why “Doing Nothing” Can Actually Help Your Marriage
A few weeks ago, we were exhausted. We had been working a ton, Jess was right in the middle of her school quarter, and life just felt really overwhelming. When I asked Jess what she wanted to do on our day off, we eventually came to the idea of a picnic in a local park. So Jess packed a lunch and we grabbed a blanket and headed off to the park. We sat down and had the first bit of our lunch. Once we had finished, we had the weirdest feeling. The “lunch” checkbox had been checked off in our … [Read more...]
#21: Keeping Technology from Taking Over
Have you ever found yourself feeling that technology is slowly taking over your home and your marriage? Maybe you have felt like the screen takes precedence over connection with your spouse? With social media, the games, and the constant attention grabbers, it’s sometimes hard to put the screen down. These things aren’t bad in themselves, but we need to be aware of when they start to take over and when they act as a distraction...from our spouse, from life, and from God. Join us on the … [Read more...]
#20: How to Move Forward as a Team When We Disagree
Have you and your spouse ever been in different places about a decision...even when you were thinking about things WAY in the future? We definitely have been. We are planners and tend to want to be on the same page all the time and be able to think years into the future. However, this isn’t necessarily realistic. We aren’t going to be on the same page all the time. We have different ways of processing decisions and we each have our own desires and dreams. Join us on the podcast today as … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfish” Can Help Your Marriage
T here we were, sitting in our bedroom and Jess was sharing with me how she felt that I was distant and a bit on edge with her. She recognized that I was stressed and overwhelmed, and asked me how I was taking care of myself. It was at that moment that I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually thought about what I needed. She looked at me and said, “Remember to take some time for yourself and allow yourself to recharge”. Okay, let’s be honest, many people think that … [Read more...]
