man naturally feels a strong desire to provide for his family. This is a God-given desire. However, as a culture, we have defined “provision” as purely financial. While it’s good to provide financially, God calls husbands to a much higher standard. The call for a husband to provide goes far beyond financial security to his full investment and involvement.
But what does that look like?
In short, a Husband should provide:
- A safe, loving place for his family
- A safe place to talk
- Emotional safety
- Safety in intimacy
- A place of joy
A safe place can mean many things. We shouldn’t be critical, harsh, mean, or unloving. Our wife should feel cherished, valued, safe, inspired, and able to pursue who God has called her to be.
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” – Colossians 3:19
Our wife needs to know that she can talk with us about anything. She should know, without question, that we will be there to listen. Not just listen with our ears, but listen with our hearts and genuinely care about her and what’s important to her.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24 ESV
A husband should be a safe place, a confidant for his wife, and someone she knows will be there “‘til death do us part.” Our wife should never question our commitment, our devotion, or our faithfulness. She will only feel the freedom and ability to be vulnerable if we, as husbands, are fully and completely committed to her and our marriage.
“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9
Our wives should feel emotionally safe, cared for, and uplifted. Our words and actions should be gentle, soft, and encouraging.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
Our wives should feel completely safe in the bedroom. They shouldn’t ever feel pressured for sex. Great sex comes from a husband and wife who are completely and beautifully intertwined on an emotional level. It’s only when our wife feels a secure emotional connection with us that she can fully give herself sexually. If sex is difficult (for reasons other than medical issues), this may be a sign of our lack of Godly leadership.
Husbands, how do you care for yourself? If you were as selfish as you could possibly be, how much time and effort would you spend on all things “you”? That’s how much you should care for your wife. That’s how much effort, attention, and love she should get from you. Not just once, but always. Every day, every week, every year, for your entire life. Sound like a lot? It is. It’s up to us to step up to meet the standard.
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” – Ephesians 5:28
Our wives have God-given talents and we should be inspiring her to follow her dreams, encouraging her along the way, and supporting her fully and completely.
A wife’s connection with her husband is directly related to how well he is leading. If we are harsh, tyrannical, and unforgiving, then our home will lack peace and will produce bitterness. But if we envelop our home with laughter, lightheartedness and servant leadership, then our home will be filled with joy. We want our wives to crave the time when we’re both home, not be happy that one of us is gone.
Ultimately, being a provider as a Christian husband means many things. While this list is a great start, it’s by no means exhaustive. We should strive to be a servant leader in everything we do, putting out wife’s needs above our own. She is more important than our career, our kids, ourselves, our family of origin, and anything and everything else. God calls us to put her second only to our relationship with Him. That’s pretty big, and not somewhere we want to drop the ball.
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What areas stood out to you? Husbands: Are there areas you struggle to provide for your wife? Wives: What areas does your husband shine as a provider? Share with us in the comments below–we’d love to hear from you!