The Real Definition of a Provider

by |

A

man naturally feels a strong desire to provide for his family. This is a God-given desire. However, as a culture, we have defined “provision” as purely financial. While it’s good to provide financially, God calls husbands to a much higher standard. The call for a husband to provide goes far beyond financial security to his full investment and involvement.

But what does that look like?

In short, a Husband should provide:

  • A safe, loving place for his family
  • A safe place can mean many things. We shouldn’t be critical, harsh, mean, or unloving. Our wife should feel cherished, valued, safe, inspired, and able to pursue who God has called her to be.

    “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”Colossians 3:19

  • A safe place to talk
  • Our wife needs to know that she can talk with us about anything. She should know, without question, that we will be there to listen. Not just listen with our ears, but listen with our hearts and genuinely care about her and what’s important to her.

  • Security
  • “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”Genesis 2:24 ESV

    A husband should be a safe place, a confidant for his wife, and someone she knows will be there “‘til death do us part.” Our wife should never question our commitment, our devotion, or our faithfulness. She will only feel the freedom and ability to be vulnerable if we, as husbands, are fully and completely committed to her and our marriage.

    “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”Mark 10:9

  • Emotional safety
  • Our wives should feel emotionally safe, cared for, and uplifted. Our words and actions should be gentle, soft, and encouraging.

    “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”Ephesians 5:25

  • Safety in intimacy
  • Our wives should feel completely safe in the bedroom. They shouldn’t ever feel pressured for sex. Great sex comes from a husband and wife who are completely and beautifully intertwined on an emotional level. It’s only when our wife feels a secure emotional connection with us that she can fully give herself sexually. If sex is difficult (for reasons other than medical issues), this may be a sign of our lack of Godly leadership.

  • Care
  • Husbands, how do you care for yourself? If you were as selfish as you could possibly be, how much time and effort would you spend on all things “you”? That’s how much you should care for your wife. That’s how much effort, attention, and love she should get from you. Not just once, but always. Every day, every week, every year, for your entire life. Sound like a lot? It is. It’s up to us to step up to meet the standard.

    “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”Ephesians 5:28

  • Inspiration
  • Our wives have God-given talents and we should be inspiring her to follow her dreams, encouraging her along the way, and supporting her fully and completely.

  • A place of joy
  • A wife’s connection with her husband is directly related to how well he is leading. If we are harsh, tyrannical, and unforgiving, then our home will lack peace and will produce bitterness. But if we envelop our home with laughter, lightheartedness and servant leadership, then our home will be filled with joy. We want our wives to crave the time when we’re both home, not be happy that one of us is gone.


“A husband should be a place of safety, a confidant for his wife, and someone she knows will be there ’til death do us part.”

Share Tweet


Ultimately, being a provider as a Christian husband means many things. While this list is a great start, it’s by no means exhaustive. We should strive to be a servant leader in everything we do, putting out wife’s needs above our own. She is more important than our career, our kids, ourselves, our family of origin, and anything and everything else. God calls us to put her second only to our relationship with Him. That’s pretty big, and not somewhere we want to drop the ball.

Want more on what the bible says about biblical roles? If so, join us in Radiant Marriage Academy, a 16-lesson experience designed to help you set your marriage on a solid biblical foundation.

What areas stood out to you? Husbands: Are there areas you struggle to provide for your wife? Wives: What areas does your husband shine as a provider? Share with us in the comments below–we’d love to hear from you!

Want to dig deeper?

Check out Radiant Marriage Academy, our free 16-lesson course!

Tiptoes

(Fully free. No catch.)

adam & Jess

Hi, we’re Adam & Jess--we’re so glad you’re here!

Our marriage got off to a rocky start in 2014 and quickly escalated into a full-out crisis. God healed us, and now we're inviting you to walk with us as we all journey toward healthier marriages together!

7 Days to an Awesome Marriage

Check out our free eBook and connect with your spouse!


7 Days to a More Intimate Marriage

Follow Us

Treasuring the Tiny Moments

The goal for the day was simple...Get food for dinner and prepare a delicious meal for our friends who were coming over (while still social distancing). I had gone to the store and had everything that I needed...except for the fish. I was planning on making fish with...

Choosing Your Spouse Over Your Checklist

We published an image of a quote on our social media not too long ago, and it struck me in just how profound it is. The quote, by D.L. Moody, is this: “If I wanted to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to his minister. I would go and ask his...

How to Love Your Spouse Through Their Rough Day

There I was in my car in the garage processing through the events of my day. You know those days where everything just seems to go wrong? This was that day. From dropping a smoothie onto the floor in the morning to having a rough interaction with a friend to work...

7 Game-Changer Questions to Fight Disconnection in Your Marriage

Have you ever gotten to a place in your marriage where you felt completely disconnected from your spouse...and didn't have a clue how you got there? In these times, it can be so easy to ignore the problem and become apathetic. In the moment, ignoring things seems like...

10 At-Home Activities to Do as a Couple

Let’s be honest. The past few weeks have been a bit insane. Have you been going a bit stir crazy? Have you craved being with your friends or family? Do you miss hugs? Are you finding yourself losing track of days and time? Us too. In the midst of being under “shelter...

4 Ways to Take Charge of Anxiety

Army. Green. Couch. Can you picture it? Now hold onto that image and I’ll come back to it. If you have read my posts for any length of time, you know that I struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized how much I can fixate on things…...

Faith in the Midst of Uncertainty

I t was dinner time when we found out that Washington had issued a “shelter in place” mandate. While we live in Idaho, Adam works in Washington. And Washington was the first of the two to issue the mandate. Like many of you who have these state rules right now, we...

7 Ways to Grow Your Marriage During COVID

This last week has been insane. I feel like I woke up on Friday last week and the world had started to end. Grocery stores were being emptied, in-person church services had been canceled, schools were closed, and my graduate program was put on hold...and I couldn’t...

Abandoned, Alone, and Afraid

Abandoned, alone, and afraid. These three words have been the theme of my feelings over the last month or so. We're in this weird stage of life where so much about our current situation feels unsettled and nothing is secure. Our finances, not having a home base, our...

Building Momentum in Your Marriage

Having a great marriage isn’t based on one moment, one action, or one success, but rather a pattern of right actions (and corrected wrong actions) over time. This may seem obvious--doing the right thing is commonly best practice--but the effects are less obvious. It’s...

Want to build an awesome marriage?

Get started with Radiant Marriage Academy, a 16-lesson online course to help you build an awesome marriage.

The best part? Thanks to our patrons, it's completely FREE. No credit card. No upsell. No catch. Just great, free marriage tools to help you make your marriage awesome.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest