W

e all like a kind word or an encouraging note, right? In marriage, we’re our spouse’s biggest fan. We have the power to help them chase their dreams, and also the power to smash them to pieces. It’s a big responsibility, and what we do with it can have lasting results.


“In marriage, we’re our spouse’s biggest fan. We have the power to help them chase their dreams, and also the power to smash them to pieces.”

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When I think about all of the things that I love about Adam, so many things come to mind. He is a hard worker, he has high integrity, he makes silly jokes, he is caring, he is kind, he goes out of his way for others… along with so many more things.

I grew up in a home where my dad did basic fix-up projects, but we always took our car to the mechanic and hired professionals for big projects around the house. When I married Adam, I had no idea just how many projects he could do. He’s saved us tons of money by fixing our cars and doing projects on our rental to keep our rent lower. He’s even built a pergola, a deck, and a storage building for other families so that we had some extra money coming in. It’s just who he is.

He has so many fond memories growing up working in the garage with his dad, building things around the house, and even learning to drive a tractor at 11. Since we got married, he’s talked about wanting to move out of the city and finding a place with lots of land.  A place where he could be himself and share all of who he is with our kids.

I love living in the Silicon Valley. I love our friends, our church, and everything that the area has to offer. I love living in the hustle and bustle and I’ve been pretty opposed to leaving.

This all changed in one episode of Fixer Upper.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s a show about a husband and wife team, Chip and Joanna Gaines. They restore and redesign houses in Texas.

Keep your eyes and mind open–you never know where you’ll get a new perspective!

In this episode, Chip was working with his kids. They were welding together, and working on the farm. I was fascinated. It finally clicked. This is what Adam wants. To share his excitement and his gifts with his family! He wants to be able to work on big projects with our kids, take them on adventures through our backyard, and be able to build them an amazing treehouse with a zipline.

My heart finally understood where his heart is. I want him to be able to share that piece of who he is with our family. That is so much more important to me than the few things I love about San Jose. Over dinner that evening I was telling him about my realization and his eyes welled up and smiled the biggest smile. He was so happy!

While we have no plans of moving right now, I know that that is probably where we’re headed in the future. I want Adam to truly be who he was created to be. I want his gifts to flourish and shine so that he can be the best for our family. Ultimately, we will go wherever God leads, but I now have a deeper understanding of where Adam’s heart is and how I can be encouraging him.

He’s great about encouraging and supporting my dreams too, but we’ll save that for another post!

Encourage Your Spouse

We need to be encouraging each other in our hopes and dreams! Start today by having a conversation with your spouse. Ask them what their dreams are and how you can be encouraging them. You might be surprised by what they say!

It’s a beautiful thing when a married couple can encourage the deepest parts of each other’s souls. It helps make our marriages deeper and more intimate.


“It’s a beautiful thing when a married couple can encourage the deepest parts of each other’s souls. It helps make our marriages deeper and more intimate.”

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Question: What about you? What are some of your mate’s hopes and dreams? How can you be encouraging them? Let us know in the comments below!

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Hi, we’re Adam & Jess--we’re so glad you’re here!

Our marriage got off to a rocky start in 2014 and quickly escalated into a full-out crisis. God healed us, and now we're inviting you to walk with us as we all journey toward healthier marriages together!

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