Do you or your spouse like to take space in conflict? Is this handled well or is this something that is becoming a wedge between you and your spouse? Join us on today’s video as we talk about the benefits of taking space and how to take space in a way that values your spouse and allows you to work through difficult topics. Don’t give up on the conflict. Push through. It isn’t resolved until you both feel heard, valued, and understood.
Main points:
[2:50] When in conflict, the stress hormone cortisol is released and that can take about 1-2 hours to go away fully.
[3:15] If we were to take cortisol on a scale of zero to ten, when we hit about 7, our brain shuts down and goes into fight or flight mode. We stop thinking rationally.
[3:38] The hope is that we could take the space before we get there so that we’re not causing further damage.
[3:45] Space can be good and helpful, but it needs to be handled well.
[4:25] Space can’t be used as a weapon. It can’t be for the use of control or power.
[5:12] Have a time limit for the space and don’t exceed that time unless it’s agreed upon with both of you.
[6:20] We need to keep coming back and keep checking in with our spouse because the conversation is not resolved until we both feel heard, valued, and understood.
[6:35] We can’t stop until the conflict is resolved.
[6:57] When we are taking space, this is a time to evaluate what we’ve done, how we need to handle things, put ourselves in check, and take time to pray. This space is for the point of resolve, not for distraction.
[8:07] We need to get our heart in the right place to be able to work through the conflict, not bolster our pride.
[9:00] Don’t be passive about conflict. Pursue your spouse and seek resolution.
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